A week

As they say, it's been a week.

Bunny bonding has been going well.  I have been so proud of all the girls, and in particular L.  Much hard work has been done and progress has been made. The bunnies are still warming to each other, but this process can take time, so we are being patient.  L has been growing a thicker skin, too, and I think feels less nervous lately supervising their bonding sessions.  I'm glad for her!

We lost two dear family members this week, and so we're all reeling a little from that I think.

On the morning my Papa passed, we went to the beach with my mom and dad.  It just felt like a fitting place to be.

(Yes, this photo was taken on November 19, and yes, that's my youngest in a bikini.  The weather was unseasonably warm, but I was chilly in leggings and a wool pullover.  These New England girls have no fear of icy waters.)

He lived to be 97.  97!!!  What a life and a legacy.  And yet I still feel that my time with him was short.  He was one of those people whose goodness and steadiness seemed so eternal.  Ellie was the same way.  Always a steady presence, never failing to send the girls' birthday cards and Valentines Day cards, always faithful, always remembering us.  Two people to look up to.  I hope I didn't take them for granted.

It makes me afraid of my own busyness, because it causes the time to pass so quickly.  Teaching my music lessons, shuttling to dance practice, cooking dinner, buying the groceries, doing the laundry, cleaning the kitchen, doing the paperwork for drivers ed, taking the girls to orchestra, planning homeschool, taking them to volunteer at the rabbit shelter, checking the budget, writing the checks, buying the hairpins and the band-aids and the new boots, unpacking... and it goes on and on and on.  It feels I have so little time for silence.  So little time for remembrance.

I listened to a podcast yesterday on just this topic.  Reclaiming quiet.  The mother featured on the podcast has four children under age 6, and I'm sure even less opportunity for quiet than I.  Her prayer I found myself repeating like a mantra, "Catch us with your kindness in the quiet spaces of silence between our busy hours."

They do exist, those spaces between our busy hours.  And this week, I feel like I have been "caught" in some of those rare moments.

My girls have been playing the piano a lot this week. They always play, just noodling and picking out the music from their favorite video games or shows by ear. But I feel there’s been an uptick in their playing this week, and they have added layers and beauty and symphonic depth. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I feel somehow that it’s Papa’s voice speaking to us, flowing from their fingers like the music used to flow from him at the keyboard. It reminds me, in the middle of my "busy hours", to remember him. Like some sort of heavenly feedback loop, the sacred veil is lifted for the timespan of one breath.  I wish you could hear it.  It's so beautiful.

{One song in particular, this one, L has been playing a lot, and I know it's just the theme from a video game about tiny aliens who help with random tasks, but it has struck me every time she plays it... the undulating chord changes, the tritones, the wide intervals, the random unexpected sparkling high notes... it just seems to be a musical metaphor of life this week, although I know that's not what the composer intended.  But I don't know... I think maybe Papa would have liked it.}

I have seen and felt my departed loved ones in nature this week, too.  Of course, nature is naturally a more quiet place, but those sparkles of beauty that catch you just because you're in the right place at the right moment, feel somehow like a friend or a steady presence, winking at you briefly, just beyond your reach.

What a gift that Papa saw these God-winks too, and painted and sketched so many of them, and we have those pieces of him left to remind us that he saw.  He knew.

I'm not sure what else to write about all of that, except that although there's a bit of an ache in my heart about it all, I feel so grateful for those moments in my week where time seems to have slowed a little.

Because my time and energy are up for now, I'll leave you on a bit of a lighter note, with a Lego-Nado.

The last time we had a Lego-Nado was during COVID quarantine!  What a relief that the Lego-Nado has returned and isn't gone forever. 🤣

Until next week, my friends-- may you find "quiet spaces of silence" between your "busy hours".