Today

Today I skipped my workout for the second day in a row, because I have one of the worst colds I've had in a long while... but I still felt mad at myself for skipping.

Today I was uncontrollably more irritable than usual with my kiddos, maybe because of being sick, maybe because I need more sleep, maybe because I was mad at myself for skipping the workout, maybe a combination of everything.

Today Miss C ate breakfast in her robe and a sparkly tiara.

Today this same Miss C refused to get out of the pool after her swimming lesson was over, even after I politely asked her six or seven times.

Today I was forced to pull Miss C out of the pool by her life jacket (first time I've had to do something like that in a long while, maybe since the terrible twos), as I felt the judgemental eyes of other mothers burning into my back, whether or not they were actually judging me or even paying attention at all.

Today I made a silent vow never to judge another mom.  You just can't know what's going on behind the scenes.

Today was the culmination of a stubborn streak that Miss C seems to have entered into lately, and I worry that it's because she needs more attention from me and there just isn't time to give it.  Of course I blame it all on myself.

Today the house was messy and the baby was fussy (she has the same cold that I do) and I was irritable about it.

Today I finally gave up on getting anything accomplished, and just cuddled on the couch next to my baby.

 

 Today I got to watch in fascination as, with Mama by her side, J was able to keep herself busy with only a tablespoon (as you see pictured above) for about twenty minutes-- turning it, shaking it, chewing it, observing it from all angles.  Babies are so cool.

Today I also took the time to watch her patiently persevere until she was able to pick up a giant ball with her feet... something I might have missed if I hadn't been lounging on the couch with her.

Today I watched from the couch as my bigger girls invented an elaborate game, using nothing but cups, buckets, and water, in which they were pretending to operate a farm and scavenge food and take care of animals and who knows what else, I couldn't even follow it all.

Today I let the girls stay up too late because we wanted to get to the end of the next chapter in Harry Potter.

Today I forgot that Miss C needed lotion on her eczema, and only remembered after we had finished Harry Potter and it was already late.

Today I not-so-patiently put that lotion on an overtired C who was much less than compliant.

Today we had this conversation as I bent over to put lotion on her feet:

C: Mama what's under that stripe? (she meant the part in my hair)

Mama: Skin.

C: Well... what's under the skin?

Mama: My head bone.

C: What's under your head bone?

Mama: My brain.

C:  What's under your brain?

Mama: (growing impatient)... ummm... I don't know... more brain.

C:  No, Mama.  Under your brain is thoughts.  My thought right now is.... I looooooooove to draw pictures.  That's my thought at this very moment.  

Mama: (can't help but smile)  That's a good thought.

C: (pauses for a moment)  I also know where my heart is.  It's right here (points to chest).  And in dance class today, I learned to cover my heart, with a butterfly, thumbs up, like this (making a butterfly with her hands)-- I cover my heart, and curtsy.  And I know I should always follow my heart.  And find love.  In my own time.

She seemed much less broken up than her mother about the whole pulling-her-out-of-the-pool thing.  Also the impatient lotioning.

Today I let my biggest girl show me her dance recital costume, even though it was already so late, because she had been waiting so patiently since she came home from dance, and I had been so busy with a fussy baby and lotioning.

Today she also showed me her dance routine, and it was perfectly done, and she smiled and her eyes sparkled as she danced, and I wondered how this perfectly coordinated and graceful girl could be my daughter (I recall some lanky awkward dance recital videos from the early '90's. *Shudder*)  Oh, I wish you could have seen her in that moment!

Today I heard dark chocolate and peanut butter calling my name (in a Dora the Explorer bowl, obvi) after the girls were finally in bed.

Today as I was getting my peanut butter out, I saw this wonderful sign that my husband brought home and put up on our fridge.

 

...and I thought it was a good sign to read at the end of a day such as today.

Today was a typical day in the life of a Mama, full of successes and failures (but I'm one of those people that tends to remember the failures the most).

Tomorrow I think that I will not only extend myself a little grace, but I will strive to do the same for all the other Mamas out there, and for my kiddos as well.  And I will remember the sparkle, the laughter, the wonderful words they say.