Life Lately

 Hey all!

Just popping in again, since I have a wee bit of time here while N is at dance. M and I are trying to work out a more equal division of the trips to the dance studio, so he has been taking some Monday nights, but today was a weird day with the MLK holiday so I volunteered to do the Monday shift this week.

We had family in town these past few days; they hopped over from Washington DC area to spend the weekend with us.

Of course we love playing with our sweet silly nephew, and we were able to do that and get some quality time, but I found this time around it was very healing for me to spend time with my brother and sister-in-law.  It made me realize how much I have been starving for company with adults.  We just chatted and chatted a lot and the girls were very patient while the grown ups spent some long hours catching up.  It was very much needed and I hope we can do it again soon!  The teenagers were able to participate in some of our conversations too which was really great.

The lack of motivation and hibernation mode I mentioned in my last post has continued into this week.  It was very nice to have a restful weekend and a day off for M today on the holiday.  We "slept in" until 7 AM (about as late as we get these days) and didn't really get out of bed until almost 9.  We then were able to get a manageable amount of chores done before hanging out with family again.

I was looking back on this post and feeling shocked that I taught 17 students while simultaneously homeschooling.  Don't know how I managed that.  I only have 5 students right now and it feels like about all I can handle.  Then again, I'm finding homeschooling high school to be a bit more planning work, while simultaneously being less hands-on during the day-to-day.  There are days that only J really needs my help and the other three are pretty independent and self-taught with their lessons.  Other days, everyone needs something… so it can still be a lot. 

The perimenopause symptoms I mentioned in my last post also factor in to my general energy levels. I think both M and I have had a bit of a mid-life crisis lately after I got a borderline high cholesterol reading on my latest bloodwork, and M has recently had to start medication for high blood pressure. Despite being fairly active and eating well (with the occasional cheat here and there), stress and aging take their toll. I think that, even five years ago, I just had a bit more energy to go around. So, it just makes sense that I might not be able to handle all the things I used to without some exhaustion.

Parenting teens is different, too. There is definitely less hands-on work involved in the day-to-day (in fact I have to very actively seek them out these days to even see them, as solitary time in their rooms— or girl talk with their sisters— is becoming the preferred activity) but there is more mental work involved in getting ready to “launch” them into the world. Career counseling, SAT, drivers ed, dual enrollment, volunteer hours, conversations about their life goals and dreams— that is the hard work of parenting teens. The stakes feel pretty high if I steer them wrong. So, I suppose that work is exhausting in its own way! It’s comforting to know that they are taking the developmentally appropriate steps in life, but there are definitely days when I miss the simplicity of having littler kiddos.

For now, though, I’m seeking out some vitamin D supplements, trying to continue to eat well 98% of the time and give myslef grace when I don’t, keep exercising to make myself feel good, outside when possible, and giving myself grace when it’s not possible, like this coming week when morning temperatures will be in the teens and I’m definitely going to opt for running on the treadmill. Congratulating myself on the small steps and the small victories that make the big, life-altering decisions possible.

Still feeling mighty privileged to be Mama to these lovely ladies and to have such a loving and supportive partner in M. Also feeling very grateful for my own parents, my brothers and sisters, and friends. It’s a rich life, even when I’m tired lol. 

I’ll see you all again soon, hopefully with warmer temperatures and more energy to report! Much love ❤️