Good Wednesday to you all!
I'm broadcasting to you from the first Wednesday of real summer vacation-- meaning M is done working for the summer! This is the second day fully home together and it has been sooooo great. It's a work day for me-- I'm on a break between morning and afternoon lessons-- but we have still had lots of together time. It's great having another adult around to shepherd our flock, but it's also just awesome being able to see his face more often. :) He pretty much worked the entire summer last year as the schools readied to re-open with restrictions, so we are soaking up this freedom and trying to recover from the burnout.
The to-do list for me still feels pretty endless (although we have finished homeschool and all of my student recital videos so that's huge). I'm trying to remind myself of the extra time we will have this summer and the extra help I will have with the kiddos, and not put too much pressure on myself about all the tasks that need doing. I'm also feeling the need to spend some quality time with the girls after such a hectic year. You may be thinking, "What? You want more quality time after you were home with the girls 24-7 all year long?" Well... I don't see this past year as quality time. I remember it as a lot of me sort of ignoring them while teaching, and when I wasn't doing that I was making disorganized attempts to teach them the academics they needed, or nagging them to finish their school, or trying to prep a meal, or generally feeling like I was being pulled in a thousand different directions. Not exactly what I'd call quality time.
Because I have consolidated my students to two days a week over the summer, we have three full days each week that I'm not teaching and we can either take our time chipping away at home projects, play outside together and enjoy the new house, or just up and go somewhere and explore our new surroundings. Like on Monday when we tried out a new-to-us public pool a couple towns away.
It was another hot hot hot day so it was really nice to spend most of the day in the water and not in our hot house. (Yes, we only have window units in bedrooms for AC).
As I was just sitting watching the girls have fun in the pool I had a couple of thoughts. Mostly about my kiddos getting big-- a common thread in my brain lately-- and how it's kind of bittersweet that I'm now in the phase of life where I can just sit and watch them. I don't have to be quite as hands-on or vigilant when we're swimming. For a few years when they were really little I was afraid to take them anywhere with water, unless there were lots of lifeguards, because it was just too much and I didn't have enough hands or eyes to keep track of everyone by myself. And we all know it only takes a second with toddlers and water. But now I'm getting to the point where I probably could take a few minutes to myself to read a book or something and they would be fine (of course they still prefer that I'm in the water with them, but it's not absolutely necessary). That's great of course, but there's also a small slice of sadness and emptiness over past days. You Mamas know what I mean.
The other thing I was thinking about was how C can't stay in cold water very long (and the water in this pool was pretty chilly, as expected with an outdoor pool in New England in June!). Her lips turn purple and she starts shivering long before the others start to feel it. J usually follows soon after and needs a break in the sun to warm up, too, but C is always the first. I know this is probably because she has a little less meat on her bones! She has had a
bird-like appetite from the very beginning, but with all her
allergies there's always just less options for things she can eat. At all of her checkups she's always growing just fine, so I don't think we have anything to be too concerned about, but boy that Mama instinct to fatten up your kiddos is pretty strong. I do worry over her sometimes, subconsciously or otherwise. We have done some experiments with gluten this spring and summer, and she seems to be tolerating it just fine, so that in and of itself opens up a whole new world of foods for her. It's hopeful.
I have also been worrying over C in different ways lately, too-- in combination with some worries over J. The two of them have had a lot of arguments lately. I feel as if there have been more sibling fights than usual lately, in general, at our house, but especially between J and C. It makes sense-- we have all been uprooted and have had to say goodbye to old friends and old routines, there has been a lot of disorganization of stuff with the move and a lot of frustration with not being able to find certain practical and sentimental items, and you know-- just all the general upheaval that goes with moving. Plus I think we are all still adjusting to sleeping in a new place and not always well rested. It makes sense that kiddos would be a little irritable. C has had the most face-time with J for the past two years, as they shared a room in our old house, and being the youngest J was not always respectful of C's stuff or space. I thought their ability to get along would improve in the new house with separate rooms, but it has almost gotten worse. Perhaps that's just the venting of two year's worth of pent up frustration? J is also not at her best right now, feeling anxiety over the impending start of kindergarten, and having to be social in more situations now that pandemic restrictions are easing and we are seeing more people. Anyway, it's a tough situation, and it wears me down, and it just makes my Mama heart sad when they aren't able to play nicely. We have been able to make some progress with it, and I see them both trying and learning new ways of solving problems, but it's one step forward two steps back. I guess I say all that to say that I'm very happy that this school year is behind us and I'm able to focus a bit more attention on them individually, because whenever I'm able to get one of them alone and let them talk it out a bit, it seems to help.
There are more Mama thoughts I have had, about many things, like how the pandemic has effected their childhoods in different ways... but I'll save those for another post since I've already rambled quite a bit today!! Thanks for sticking with me :)
Evidence that there is a lot going on in J's head, causing scary dreams:
These were taken on two different nights when she appeared at my bedside in the middle of the night saying "I'm really scared!!" I have been letting her get in bed with me and usually when that happens she ends up staying there until morning because I have too many sleep-deprived years behind me to get up and take her back to her own room. I used to be better about that. Le sigh. But then in the morning I take her picture because she looks so sweet. This has happened more nights than I have photographic evidence for. So yeah. Sleep quality and all that.
I don't always make veggie burgers from scratch (soooo labor intensive), but when I do I make a quadruple batch so I can freeze them and don't have to put in the work again for a while!
{These were absolutely delish, by the way. Highly recommend.}
Enjoying a veggie burger and carrot fries on the deck with my fancy girl.
J has been obsessed lately with fresh-squeezing her own orange juice, because she has also been obsessed with reading
Gregory the Terrible Eater to us at bedtime (remember the page in the book where Gregory's mother makes him fresh-squeezed orange juice?). Please ignore the sharp objects in this photo, and the mess in the background.
This past weekend when it was really really hot we opened up the Sugar and Spice Family Car Wash and it was a really great way for the kiddos to cool off. (Daddy was out on a Father's Day mountain bike ride with a friend.) They actually did a really good job cleaning my car! While they were doing it I was also able to clean all the trash out of the interior and even vacuum a bit. So the family van is slightly less offensive than usual! Win!!!
A reading party, post-library-trip, that lasted about two hours on a rainy afternoon. Not pictured are the three other girls who were reading in their rooms upstairs. I'm pretty sure these girls are going to dominate our library's summer reading program.
Super happy post-running selfie with my running buddy! We have had some really beautiful weather for those early morning dates lately and it's pretty much the best thing ever. Looking forward to a summer full of this!!!!!
How is your summer going so far?
See you next week :)
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