Our Transition from Homeschool to Public School
I wanted to write a post dedicated to our decision to stop homeschooling, our girls transition to brick-and-mortar school, and where we're at with the choice one year in.
Back when we were homeschooling, I never really was certain we'd continue long-term. I knew that homeschooling had many benefits, but I wasn't vehemently opposed to public school. N had spent a year in public school kindergarten, and while it was a rough year in many ways (over three weeks of school missed due to head lice and illness, long days, exhaustion, heavy focus on reading and math curriculum without much arts and science, etc.), she loved her teacher and the friends she made, and had thrived academically. Both M and I had grown up in public schools and we had both had really great experiences. Each year that we were homeschooling we would re-visit whether we thought it was the right decision for that year... and for four years, the answer was yes.
In the early years of homeschooling, things seemed relatively easy. In kindergarten, first grade and second, curriculum is light. The amount of time that you really *need* to spend sitting and instructing is quite small. There is a large amount of time for outdoor exploration, field trips, reading aloud, learning through play, and just doing things that aren't school-related at all. My girls were also able to do a lot of their learning independently through workbooks or iPad apps, because they're pretty clever (Mama brag there) and could figure a lot of things out themselves without one-on-one instruction. Don't get me wrong-- I didn't want to constantly just leave them to their own devices. We did a lot of great learning all together and in one-on-one settings; my point is that there seemed to be enough time for everything we needed.
The beauty of homeschooling long-term is that taking more time for these things can continue, and you can build your own education and there isn't pressure to cover everything that's covered in a public school. You can get behind on a certain subject during a busy season, and catch up later when you have more time. Some people can commit wholeheartedly to that idea, but I just found that I couldn't. I wanted to follow a public-school-like education at home, because I wanted to have the option of putting my girls back in school at any time if we decided it was right for our family. And if they were going to have to handle the transition to public school all at once, I wanted the academic piece of it to be easy for them. I wanted them to be "caught up" with their peers so that jumping in mid-stream would be no big deal.
So, let's rewind time to the 2017-2018 school year. I had just taken on a new teaching position and had inherited a studio of sixteen private violin students that I was teaching away from home two days a week. I was still singing with my regular Sunday evening church gig, which was leading to other gigs, including the professional choir with which I had now sung two concert runs. I was no longer teaching online, but other gigs were more than making up for the time I had spent doing that, and my current gigs were all away from home. I couldn't just head into the home office and work. So... I was busy, personally and professionally.
At home, little Miss J was a busy little toddler and requiring lots of attention.
When left unattended, she would do things like cover her face in stickers...
...or find my phone and take a selfie. I have thousands and thousands of adorable selfies from this era in my Google Photos ;-}
There were dance competitions
...and soccer games
...and a month-long stretch where we passed around the flu
and emergency room visits after falling on our icy driveway.
Sooooooooo... yeah. It was a VERY busy season. And we got a little behind on homeschool.
One might say, why didn't you just cut out some of those Mama gigs and girl activities? Why didn't you just make yourself less busy so you could focus more on school?
The answer is, yes, there's something to be said for that. And truth be told, we said no to a LOT of things. Each of our girls was only allowed one activity plus girl scouts, and girl scouts was a minimal commitment that only met twice or sometimes once a month. When you are homeschooling, I feel like the pressure is actually *higher* to enroll your kids in lots of activities, in order to round out their education and "get them socialized". But when you have four children and each one is doing an activity, it adds up. Little J had her gymnastics class, C's dance team practiced twice a week and had three competitions plus a recital that year, and both older girls were doing travel soccer, so that's two practices a week plus a game every Saturday during the 8-week season. Many of our homeschooling friends were doing even more activities than this-- multiple things per child.
On the academic front, this was the first year I was officially homeschooling three children-- kindergarten, second grade, and fourth grade.
I found that third and fourth grade are where the "rubber meets the road". If you're keeping up with public school, the material (especially in Math and Language Arts) becomes more complex at the third-grade level, and requires more one-on-one instruction. Poor N was the one that suffered when we got behind, and I was constantly feeling like I wasn't giving her the instruction time that she needed to really thrive. Math especially became really difficult for her. She saw her sisters skate through and finish their math concepts easily without my help, whereas I had to come up with extra activities for her to help her understand, and our math instruction stretched into the summer because we had to take so much time off that spring for illness and family busyness. We had never finished third grade math the year before, but we had covered enough that I chose to move her on to fourth grade in the fall of 2017. But those gaps in her third grade learning certainly didn't help with understanding of fourth grade material. And there were certainly things we were skipping in Language Arts too, I just worried less about that because she's such a natural reader and writer.
And then there was social time. The whole 2017-2018 school year I didn't really reach out to friends to schedule play time for the girls, because I was so busy with my own new job. Every time we had a free day I felt pressured to stay home and get caught up on the school we were missing. If I didn't feel pressure to catch up on school, I felt pressure to catch up on laundry or housework. We did play with friends some, and had occasional things like homeschool days
but these times were definitely more rare than they were in the more free and easy days of kindergarten, first, and second grade, when I was working from home. I began to feel like the girls only saw each other that year, and lots of babysitters while I was away working. They had some time with friends at their activities, but it was limited to 1-2 hours per week. And although my girls get along great and love just playing with one another, they did talk about missing their friends a lot.
Meanwhile, M had been working for two years in a school district that he loved. He came home raving about the things all the teachers were doing in his district, the overall positive culture of the administration, and the vibrant learning environment that existed in all the classrooms. Some of the teachers there who lived in other districts did school choice for their own kids and brought them in to work. We had tossed around this idea for a couple of years now, but by this spring M had sort of learned the people to talk to in order to ensure our kids the best chance at getting a spot. We had many conversations about it. The choice before us seemed to be 1) we try putting the girls in school or 2) I cut back on work commitments and we continue homeschooling.
Don't get me wrong-- there were many things that I loved about homeschooling. We had the freedom to travel at any time of the year. We had the freedom to space out school and take days off for busy-ness or illness or just mental health. They were protected from a lot of the unnecessary social drama they might encounter in public school, and even worse things like bullying. We didn't have to have discussions about whether they would get their first cell phone in the 4th grade. We had so much quality time together and the girls formed a really strong bond. It was so rewarding for me to be their teacher, watch their minds work, to be the one to hear them read their first words and make other amazing discoveries. Being intimately involved with all of the things they did was a pretty special privilege.
But at that point, having the weight of my children's education on my shoulders just felt like too much. I felt like I was failing them. The extra money we earned from me working was nice, and even if I had been working less I had less confidence that we could cover all the bases as the girls got older. I had a good feeling that being in school, especially at M's district, would provide them with more opportunities than I was able to give.
At the time, I was still very conflicted. I feared making the wrong choice. We were quite entrenched in our homeschool lifestyle-- to stop meant stopping certain activities that we enjoyed and seeing less of certain friends. It was hard for me to see our way through that transition. In the end, however, I figured we could try it out for a year, and see how everybody liked it. If public school was a miserable failure, we would know that homeschooling had worked for us and that we could easily go back to it. A trial would help us to decide what was best, long-term.
So fall of 2018, it was back to school for everyone-- M and three of his girls.
So, here we are, one year in.
How's it going, you might be asking?
Well, long story short... it's going great.
I'll start by talking about the one big negative-- the fact that we were so far away from school. M's district was about a 45-minute drive from where we were living last year. This meant that the girls spent about 2 hours in the car every day. Traffic was totally unpredictable-- sometimes the drive really would be 45 minutes, some days it would be an hour, sometimes an hour and fifteen minutes. This made things stressful for M who was trying to get the girls (who were at two different schools) dropped off on time, while simultaneously preparing himself for a busy work day. The girls couldn't really do playdates or any activities (like before/after-school music practices) in their school town because it just added too much time to an already long day. But we solved that problem by putting our house on the market and moving this past summer.
In all other respects, our girls thrived!
Our shy little C, who I worried about the most on the social end of things, got placed with the most lovely teacher we could have asked for. In the lower elementary grades of this district there is a huge focus on social-emotional learning anyway, but her teacher really did a lot of that and it was just perfect for C. They did activities like how to start a conversation with someone you don't know, and practiced taking turns speaking in large groups and small groups. C learned and grew so much from this. The academic side of things was pretty relaxed. Her modular classroom had its own back door so the kids went outside quite a bit to do science experiments and work in the garden. She watched chicks hatch, participated in two musical shows throughout the year... and of course, did some reading and math too :) In fact, she made pretty big strides in both areas, according to her teacher! But as you can see, the focus of lower elementary in this district is very similar to what we did in homeschool.
I should say that there are two elementary schools in town, one is K-2nd and the other is 3rd-5th. So N and L were together last year (in 3rd and 5th grade) and C was by herself at her school, except for seeing M occasionally who worked at her school two days each week. It was something that could have been tough for her, but because of the totally loving environment of her school it really wasn't. She did great.
L did equally well-- she got matched up with an amazing teacher too. They delved into some really interesting literary units, i.e. Greek and Egyptian mythology. They also did a lot of social studies too and L absorbed every fact like a sponge. 3rd grade math, as I mentioned before, is a step up in difficulty from 2nd, but her teacher obviously did great with her and at her last parent/teacher conference of the year, she shared with me that L had gotten a 100% on every single test except for one, on which she missed one question. Her reading and writing were great too; her writing voice is hysterical and it was so much fun to read the writing pieces she brought home. This was all confirmation for me that being in school did more for her than I could ever have given her at home. The best part is that she made some amazing friends-- her two closest friends were boys, and having had them over to our house this summer I can vouch for the fact that they are the kindest, sweetest, and most responsible 3rd-grade boys I've ever met. She met a lot of nice kids, both girls and boys, in her class.
N, the one I worried most about on the academic side of things, did astoundingly well. Despite coming in slightly behind, she was placed in the proper "groups" (in 5th grade the students switch classes for some subjects to sort of "practice" for middle school) with the proper teachers and she was always able to get the help she needed. By the end of the year she was more than caught up, and this year her confidence in math especially has soared far beyond my expectations. She now talks about math being her favorite subject, and sometimes mentions wanting to follow math as a career path later (!!!!). Those words would never have come out of her mouth a year ago. She also fell into a nest of the most kind, supportive girls who are now very close friends. We recently had this group of girls over to our house for N's birthday party, and just like L's friends I'm so impressed that they are all polite, fair with one another, inclusive of new people, and completely drama-free, which is exactly the opposite of what you would expect from 11-year-old girls. They're a lot like N, when you think about it. She's pretty much the best almost-6th grader I know.
Being an employee of the school, M has access to things like MCAS scores, reading level placements, and other beginning- and end-of-year test results. I'm thrilled to report that although they both had some catching up to do, both N and L tested near the top of their classes by the end of the year, from an academic standpoint. Sorry to brag on them, but it was a very proud moment for me to know that our homeschool time had instilled a love for learning, and because of this our girls were able to easily catch up, and enjoy the process. I couldn't have imagined a greater success for them with this transition.
It's funny, one of the most common questions I was asked while we were homeschooling is "How are you going to get them socialized?" Well... in answer to anyone who asked that question, I will say that from the very first report card that got sent home, all three girls received "exceeds expectations" in ALL categories of social learning. So that's a testament to home education, right there. Public school doesn't necessarily mean better social skills, and homeschooling (in my humble opinion) can almost do even better on that piece of the educational pie... if, of course, you are blessed with girls as sweet and loving and compassionate as mine are :) Sorry that I keep bragging on my kiddos! Can't help it.
That's about the end of the story. We are heading into a new year, and although we are sad to see the end of a fun and relaxing summer, the girls are also super excited for more learning, new experiences, and getting back to their friends. They start next Tuesday and we are all looking forward to whatever our second year of public school will bring!
At the time, I was still very conflicted. I feared making the wrong choice. We were quite entrenched in our homeschool lifestyle-- to stop meant stopping certain activities that we enjoyed and seeing less of certain friends. It was hard for me to see our way through that transition. In the end, however, I figured we could try it out for a year, and see how everybody liked it. If public school was a miserable failure, we would know that homeschooling had worked for us and that we could easily go back to it. A trial would help us to decide what was best, long-term.
So fall of 2018, it was back to school for everyone-- M and three of his girls.
So, here we are, one year in.
How's it going, you might be asking?
Well, long story short... it's going great.
I'll start by talking about the one big negative-- the fact that we were so far away from school. M's district was about a 45-minute drive from where we were living last year. This meant that the girls spent about 2 hours in the car every day. Traffic was totally unpredictable-- sometimes the drive really would be 45 minutes, some days it would be an hour, sometimes an hour and fifteen minutes. This made things stressful for M who was trying to get the girls (who were at two different schools) dropped off on time, while simultaneously preparing himself for a busy work day. The girls couldn't really do playdates or any activities (like before/after-school music practices) in their school town because it just added too much time to an already long day. But we solved that problem by putting our house on the market and moving this past summer.
In all other respects, our girls thrived!
Our shy little C, who I worried about the most on the social end of things, got placed with the most lovely teacher we could have asked for. In the lower elementary grades of this district there is a huge focus on social-emotional learning anyway, but her teacher really did a lot of that and it was just perfect for C. They did activities like how to start a conversation with someone you don't know, and practiced taking turns speaking in large groups and small groups. C learned and grew so much from this. The academic side of things was pretty relaxed. Her modular classroom had its own back door so the kids went outside quite a bit to do science experiments and work in the garden. She watched chicks hatch, participated in two musical shows throughout the year... and of course, did some reading and math too :) In fact, she made pretty big strides in both areas, according to her teacher! But as you can see, the focus of lower elementary in this district is very similar to what we did in homeschool.
I should say that there are two elementary schools in town, one is K-2nd and the other is 3rd-5th. So N and L were together last year (in 3rd and 5th grade) and C was by herself at her school, except for seeing M occasionally who worked at her school two days each week. It was something that could have been tough for her, but because of the totally loving environment of her school it really wasn't. She did great.
L did equally well-- she got matched up with an amazing teacher too. They delved into some really interesting literary units, i.e. Greek and Egyptian mythology. They also did a lot of social studies too and L absorbed every fact like a sponge. 3rd grade math, as I mentioned before, is a step up in difficulty from 2nd, but her teacher obviously did great with her and at her last parent/teacher conference of the year, she shared with me that L had gotten a 100% on every single test except for one, on which she missed one question. Her reading and writing were great too; her writing voice is hysterical and it was so much fun to read the writing pieces she brought home. This was all confirmation for me that being in school did more for her than I could ever have given her at home. The best part is that she made some amazing friends-- her two closest friends were boys, and having had them over to our house this summer I can vouch for the fact that they are the kindest, sweetest, and most responsible 3rd-grade boys I've ever met. She met a lot of nice kids, both girls and boys, in her class.
N, the one I worried most about on the academic side of things, did astoundingly well. Despite coming in slightly behind, she was placed in the proper "groups" (in 5th grade the students switch classes for some subjects to sort of "practice" for middle school) with the proper teachers and she was always able to get the help she needed. By the end of the year she was more than caught up, and this year her confidence in math especially has soared far beyond my expectations. She now talks about math being her favorite subject, and sometimes mentions wanting to follow math as a career path later (!!!!). Those words would never have come out of her mouth a year ago. She also fell into a nest of the most kind, supportive girls who are now very close friends. We recently had this group of girls over to our house for N's birthday party, and just like L's friends I'm so impressed that they are all polite, fair with one another, inclusive of new people, and completely drama-free, which is exactly the opposite of what you would expect from 11-year-old girls. They're a lot like N, when you think about it. She's pretty much the best almost-6th grader I know.
Being an employee of the school, M has access to things like MCAS scores, reading level placements, and other beginning- and end-of-year test results. I'm thrilled to report that although they both had some catching up to do, both N and L tested near the top of their classes by the end of the year, from an academic standpoint. Sorry to brag on them, but it was a very proud moment for me to know that our homeschool time had instilled a love for learning, and because of this our girls were able to easily catch up, and enjoy the process. I couldn't have imagined a greater success for them with this transition.
It's funny, one of the most common questions I was asked while we were homeschooling is "How are you going to get them socialized?" Well... in answer to anyone who asked that question, I will say that from the very first report card that got sent home, all three girls received "exceeds expectations" in ALL categories of social learning. So that's a testament to home education, right there. Public school doesn't necessarily mean better social skills, and homeschooling (in my humble opinion) can almost do even better on that piece of the educational pie... if, of course, you are blessed with girls as sweet and loving and compassionate as mine are :) Sorry that I keep bragging on my kiddos! Can't help it.
That's about the end of the story. We are heading into a new year, and although we are sad to see the end of a fun and relaxing summer, the girls are also super excited for more learning, new experiences, and getting back to their friends. They start next Tuesday and we are all looking forward to whatever our second year of public school will bring!
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