Our Week

This week whenever I have uttered the words

 

there has been nobody around to answer

That's right, M is away this week with our church youth group.  From everything I hear they are having amazing, impactful experiences, and I'm so glad he was able to go.

Of course we always miss him tremendously when he's gone, me especially, not just for all the lovey dovey smoochy reasons but also because this time marks my first extended period flying solo with four kiddos.  We have had an overnight without him here or there and once a trip to DC with me and my Momma and the girls, but this was a big fat six days with just me and no helper.

It has been challenging, but also really great.

Kind of hard to put in to words why it has been great.  At the beginning of this week I thought to myself, "With no husband to talk to after the kids go to bed, I'll have plenty of time for blogging!" and then every night by the time I manage to get everyone tucked in and the dishes done and messes cleaned up, my mind is numb.  Each night I have just watched 10 or 20 minutes of a movie before passing out cold.  So I'm not even sure I'll have the words tonight to describe how this week has been great.

I will just say that normally when M goes away for an extended period (this usually happens about once a year) I feel like I'm just biding my time and "getting through it" until he gets back.  But I didn't feel that way this time.  I really felt like I enjoyed my girls, enjoyed the solitude (what little I have had... there isn't much solitude, really, when you've got four kiddos around), enjoyed the quiet and the slow pace.

We had kind of an empty week this week other than team gymnastics practices for L, and I kept it that way deliberately.  I knew I needed to seriously lower my expectations for accomplishing anything other than keeping everyone alive.  And because of that, I think, I was just relaxed and in the presence of my girls a lot more, without an agenda, savoring the moment.

Like this morning, when the girls were dressed and ready to go outside at 8:15 AM (which was really the best part of the day to be outside-- the heat has been simply oppressive to us New Englanders who aren't used to such temperatures!) and so we all went.  I took my coffee out, and my delicious feast of a novel that I'm currently reading, and sat in a chair devouring it while the bigger girls took turns pulling little J around the backyard in the wagon and playing on the swing.

 

It was lovely and peaceful and the morning sun sparkled down on us and I wished it would never end.

 

And it didn't, for several hours, as the baby went down for a morning nap and then the girls decided they would use the wagon as "splash mountain" and took turns hurtling down the hill with the sprinkler on them.

We have had many other moments like that this week.

 

 

I had also challenged myself, after reading this article early in the week, to do a screen-free week.  There is a lot of poo-pooing of screens for children (and adults!) out there in today's world, and although I wholeheartedly agree with it, I also have to point out that any Mama who has been in the trenches knows that it is a HUGE challenge, today in 2016, to fill the long, sometimes endless hours of your kids' day without screens.  Sometimes you just need five minutes.  I really applaud any Mama, especially a single Mama or a military wife, who can get by without using a screen here and there.

I'm happy to say that we mostly did it, though.  The girls spent a 30-minute slot in front of the TV on two evenings this week.  Other than that, we had outside time, beach trips, imaginative play, afternoons at the library, painting, reading, coloring, chatting... the best types of things.  And I did notice a difference in their moods.  It wasn't a cure-all for bickering, to be sure, but there was decidedly less of it.  I'm lucky that my girls don't really ask for screens much, and could spend all day pretending and crafting up a storm.  I just have to admit that I get tired of cleaning up the messes they make, or nagging them to clean up, and it's easier some days to park them in front of the TV or hand them an iPad.  But since we had the extra time in our schedule this week, I opted for the messier lifestyle.  And in all actuality, it didn't seem like that much work cleaning up afterwards.  I think because I was with them and playing along on most games, not frantically trying to accomplish some other task somewhere else in the house, we worked together and mostly cleaned up one thing before we moved on to the next.  So there's something to be said for Mama taking the opportunity for playing, too.

I guess I'll say one last thing... normally, when M is away I sort of sleep on pins and needles, getting up to check all the locks on the doors and windows two or three times.  I typically feel quite vulnerable when he's not here.  But this week, for whatever reason, I felt none of that anxiety.  I slept peacefully each night and dreamed up none of my usual scary scenarios.  I'm not sure if this had to do with me feeling the chi of peaceful motherhood during the day, or if someone out there was praying, or what.  But I felt sort of... floated along... if that makes any sense.  It was a wonderful feeling that I have felt before at different important points in my life, and for it I am very grateful.

 

Oh, okay... one last story.

As a reward for picking up I took the girls to McDonalds for dollar ice-cream cones last night.  (Plus, we just needed another way to cool off... constant sweat!!!)  I gave Miss J one little lick of my cone, and she looked at me, wide-eyed, then dove in for more.

She ended up eating at least half of my cone, and she wept bitterly for about twenty minutes when it was all gone.

 

I think I just might have created a monster.

Unfortunately she did get very itchy skin afterwards (she tends to have a mild reaction to dairy) so I'm not sure if this pleasure can be repeated often.  But we have broken the seal, folks.

And with that I leave you.  Goodnight, my friends, and I hope your week has been peaceful too.