The piercing of ears
Today, on somewhat of a whim, N got her ears pierced.
She's been asking since her seventh birthday, after I told her I got mine done when I was in second grade. I've always been okay with her doing it, it was just a matter of finding a free day in our crazy lives and remembering to make the time.
So when we woke up this morning she thought of it and asked if today could be the day, and since we had a few hours before L needed to be at gymnastics and I was headed to the grocery store by the mall anyway, I said, "Well... yes!"
So she patiently, graciously, and helpfully did my shopping with me while Daddy was at home with the other three girls. I cherished chatting with her one-on-one while she followed me around the store in quiet obedience-- I was aware of how quick she was to grab whatever I asked off the shelf, how wise-beyond-her-years she was in the thoughts and observations and words... I became aware of how I take her helpfulness for granted every day. As the morning wore on I became more and more convinced that my responsible wing-man girl should be getting her grown-up wish that day. This event combined with the fact that her choice was to buy cherry-red lipstick with her chore money at Ocean State Job Lot earlier that week certainly secured her status as 7-going-on-14.
She sat in my lap in the piercing chair (inwardly, I felt a little relief that she still wanted my lap to sit on). When the pagoda employee asked me to check the marker-dots on her ears and make sure they were in an acceptable spot, I had an unbidden flashback to the moment she was born-- the very moment my motherhood began.
Her ears, you see, were one of the first things I noticed about her. She came out and they put her on my chest and I beheld her for the first time, and it struck me that her ears were slightly elvish, and I asked M, "Whose ears does she have?" Every time I watch the video of her birth I hear myself asking it, and it didn't really occur to me until that moment today, when her ears were about to be irrevocably "marred", why I would have said such a thing at that moment.
Undoubtedly that was a question of a new Mama in the hazy delirium of having been up half the night, suffering the slow, steady, immense pain of bringing her firstborn into the world. But at the same time I think I was also experiencing the overwhelming realization that the thing I held in my arms was something that I, along with my husband, had created out of nothing. Where no human being had existed before, there now was one, magically brought forth out of the love between two people. As she emerged in all her six pound glory with her elvish ears, it struck me that those ears were neither M's nor mine. Perhaps there was some pixie among the Welsh roots of M's family tree, or the Norwegian or Irish roots of mine... but here I was, thinking before I met her that she would be a carbon copy, or at least a combination of us, when indeed she was so much more than that. So much deeper and more complex and intricate than I could have ever imagined. And it was humbling, scary, and wonderful all at the same time to have had a small part in this genesis of life.
All of those thoughts flashed through my head in the half second before the piercing gun was raised, and a lump rose in my throat (quite unexpectedly; I hadn't felt ahead of time that this would be a big deal for me at all!) with a sensation of panic-- and then all at once, her "baby ears" were gone for good.
It is a complicated feeling-- the grasping at the straws of your growing children... the trying to keep them little as they continually press on too quickly and time ticks away exponentially... especially if you are in my position of being done having babies. I kiss the chubbiness of their hands every day hoping to slow the lengthening of their limbs and the loss of their softness but it never quite works.
But when I remember my quiet morning with N today, I am looking forward to hearing more wise words from her. (Or hilarious ones. Like before we left for the mall and she said, "I can't WAIT to be dragged out from the mall crying!!!" She expected to be afraid of the piercing when in fact she was quite brave.) I am excited to meet the complex person that she will become, just as I was startled and delighted to meet her elvish ears when I first saw them. I am sure that she has more surprises in store. This is true for all my babies, and I feel so blessed that I'm along for that ride.
She's been asking since her seventh birthday, after I told her I got mine done when I was in second grade. I've always been okay with her doing it, it was just a matter of finding a free day in our crazy lives and remembering to make the time.
So when we woke up this morning she thought of it and asked if today could be the day, and since we had a few hours before L needed to be at gymnastics and I was headed to the grocery store by the mall anyway, I said, "Well... yes!"
So she patiently, graciously, and helpfully did my shopping with me while Daddy was at home with the other three girls. I cherished chatting with her one-on-one while she followed me around the store in quiet obedience-- I was aware of how quick she was to grab whatever I asked off the shelf, how wise-beyond-her-years she was in the thoughts and observations and words... I became aware of how I take her helpfulness for granted every day. As the morning wore on I became more and more convinced that my responsible wing-man girl should be getting her grown-up wish that day. This event combined with the fact that her choice was to buy cherry-red lipstick with her chore money at Ocean State Job Lot earlier that week certainly secured her status as 7-going-on-14.
She sat in my lap in the piercing chair (inwardly, I felt a little relief that she still wanted my lap to sit on). When the pagoda employee asked me to check the marker-dots on her ears and make sure they were in an acceptable spot, I had an unbidden flashback to the moment she was born-- the very moment my motherhood began.
Her ears, you see, were one of the first things I noticed about her. She came out and they put her on my chest and I beheld her for the first time, and it struck me that her ears were slightly elvish, and I asked M, "Whose ears does she have?" Every time I watch the video of her birth I hear myself asking it, and it didn't really occur to me until that moment today, when her ears were about to be irrevocably "marred", why I would have said such a thing at that moment.
Undoubtedly that was a question of a new Mama in the hazy delirium of having been up half the night, suffering the slow, steady, immense pain of bringing her firstborn into the world. But at the same time I think I was also experiencing the overwhelming realization that the thing I held in my arms was something that I, along with my husband, had created out of nothing. Where no human being had existed before, there now was one, magically brought forth out of the love between two people. As she emerged in all her six pound glory with her elvish ears, it struck me that those ears were neither M's nor mine. Perhaps there was some pixie among the Welsh roots of M's family tree, or the Norwegian or Irish roots of mine... but here I was, thinking before I met her that she would be a carbon copy, or at least a combination of us, when indeed she was so much more than that. So much deeper and more complex and intricate than I could have ever imagined. And it was humbling, scary, and wonderful all at the same time to have had a small part in this genesis of life.
All of those thoughts flashed through my head in the half second before the piercing gun was raised, and a lump rose in my throat (quite unexpectedly; I hadn't felt ahead of time that this would be a big deal for me at all!) with a sensation of panic-- and then all at once, her "baby ears" were gone for good.
It is a complicated feeling-- the grasping at the straws of your growing children... the trying to keep them little as they continually press on too quickly and time ticks away exponentially... especially if you are in my position of being done having babies. I kiss the chubbiness of their hands every day hoping to slow the lengthening of their limbs and the loss of their softness but it never quite works.
But when I remember my quiet morning with N today, I am looking forward to hearing more wise words from her. (Or hilarious ones. Like before we left for the mall and she said, "I can't WAIT to be dragged out from the mall crying!!!" She expected to be afraid of the piercing when in fact she was quite brave.) I am excited to meet the complex person that she will become, just as I was startled and delighted to meet her elvish ears when I first saw them. I am sure that she has more surprises in store. This is true for all my babies, and I feel so blessed that I'm along for that ride.
(This is the earliest picture I have of N on this computer... about 11 months old, according to the date!)
Love this! My A is much the same way these days (minus the pierced ears) , and it's such a remarkable thing watching the oldest grow and blossom, so very emotional, too!
ReplyDeleteLove reading your blog and adventures of your family. Read where your 7 year old finally got her ears pierced after asking for them again and again.
ReplyDeleteYour story reminded of a funny experience when we had our 5 yr old ears pierced and an incident where she took one of my pearl stud earrings from my jewelry box. One day, my hubby calls out to me from the family room asking me to come in there. Sandi had gotten a pair of my earrings and was trying to put them in both her 3 yr old sister, Missy and Allison, her 11 month old baby sister's ears! She almost put one in her ear canal of the baby! Asked her why, and she said, "...Missy wanted "earwigs" like mine. Dh laughed and told me, P-L-E-A-S-E take the girls and get them both pierced before we had to take one or both to the ER or to remove an earring!
Like our older daughter, Sandi, we were going to wait to have the younger girls ears pierced when they asked too. However, after talking about it with our ped, she encouraged me to go ahead and have Missy and baby Allison done at the same time. She gave me some tips for "Mom's having their daughter's ears pierced." After talking about it, Rick and I couldn't come up with a good reason to wait.
Well, all three of my girls have pierced ears and look adorable with little earrings. Having Missy's ears pierced was no problem and Allison barely whimpered. Don't know if you ever considered doing your YDD's as well, but if so, then caring for them was easy. At Easter, I put pearls in all my girls and wore mine of course too. Best part was watching the girls stare at the mirror saying "pretty!"
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