J's birth story, part 2

Catch up on part 1 here.

So... where were we?  Oh yes, at the hosptial... 8 cm dilated.

So once we knew that things were really happening I texted my Mom.  I felt bad that it was the middle of the night and that, even if she had left right then, she still might miss the birth if things went quickly.  She texted back to say that she was already on her way and almost halfway there.  My crazy Momma!

I decided I wanted to get into the tub, as I had done for L's birth.  I had to be on the fetal monitor for a while so they could get a good read on baby's heartbeat, so I had to lay in the bed for about 30 minutes while that was going on and they were filling up the tub for me.   I was feeling a lot of pain and pressure in my back at that point and being in the bed was uncomfortable.  But I was still having long breaks in between contractions... 10 to 15 minutes usually... so it was bearable.  The tub was filled and ready for me at about 1:15 AM.

I got in, and immediately the pressure was relieved on my back.  It felt amazing!!!

 

The nurses were all cautioning me to let them know the minute I started feeling "pushy".  When I was in the tub with L the urge to push came on really suddenly and I barely made it back to the birthing bed before she was born, so I knew I had to be cautious.  And again, I was remembering that with C it only took an hour to dilate from 8 to 10.  So I kept my eye on the clock and, since I was already feeling a little pushy, I didn't stay in the tub long-- maybe 30 or 45 minutes total.  In retrospect, I wish I had stayed in longer, because it was soooo amazing for pain management... but I couldn't have known how much time I had left.

I actually got out of the tub because I had to go to the bathroom-- so M helped me out and into the potty.  At that stage of labor, every movement makes you contract.  I had one contraction getting out of the tub, one contraction sitting on the potty, and I remember feeling "pushy" enough that I worried the baby might come out in the toilet!!  (She didn't.)

I decided not to get back in the tub since I felt like things could move along quickly, so M helped me back into the hospital room next to the birthing bed and I sat on the birthing ball.  (It was maybe 2:15 or 2:30 AM.)  I spent the next hour or so on the ball, rolling around a bit with each contraction.  I remember making a bit more noise throughout that hour than I ever have with any birth, because the "pushy" feeling was pretty strong (but not overwhelming) and I was trying to breathe/grunt my way through it.  I said at one point to M, "I feel like I'm making a lot of noise" and he said something kind and supportive.  I also remember that the song "Pressure" by Billy Joel was running through my head.  Hah!

I really tried to wait until the feeling of pressure was overwhelming, and I couldn't fight the urge to push.  I knew that the longer I waited to push, the further down the baby would be, and the less work I would have to do.  It was hard to resist.

And then, just past 3 AM, I had one contraction that felt so powerful I needed to push.  M knew it immediately and called the nurse in.  The nurse called the doctor and there was a flurry of activity as everyone came in and prepared for the birth.  At that exact moment, my Mom arrived, and I remember M saying, "You're just in time!"

They moved me up onto the bed and with the next contraction I started to push.

I felt immediately that something wasn't right.  Or... not "not right", but certainly different from how pushing had felt during the other three births.

It felt like I was pushing against a rock.  Like I was trying with all my might but nothing was happening.  I couldn't feel the baby moving down, as I had during the other births.  I pushed maybe five times against this feeling, through maybe two different contractions, and I looked at M.

Everyone in the room was really quiet.  It was so odd.  The nurse said, "good job" a few times, but other than that I wasn't getting any feedback.  With all of my other girls I had them out with two or three pushes.  I just couldn't understand what was happening.  I thought, "Maybe they're just trying to let me take the lead, and not tell me what to do."  During a break between contractions, I asked M, "Can you see her?"

He replied, "I thought I saw something!" and the doctor said, "She's being sneaky."

{Side note: Looking back, I find it really hard to believe that M was even functioning at this point, after having been so sick the day before, and given the fact that it was now close to 4 AM.  I am so grateful that he somehow mustered the energy to be there by my side, and so very helpful and cheerful.}

It was then that I stopped feeling the urge to push.  This was also very weird.  It has always been so overwhelming for me.  There were also long, long breaks in between contractions.  I would lay back and catch my breath, and I remember being so sweaty and tired, but also worried that I was taking too long and that everybody was annoyed with me.  I kept pushing anyway, even though the urge wasn't that strong.  The nurse had the heart rate monitor on the baby the whole time, and she was holding the device really far down as if the baby was really low in my body, but I couldn't feel it that way.  It was confusing.

About 30 minutes passed in that way... I think.  I'm a little fuzzy on the details at this point.  I think I had pushed about 10 times when I finally asked if something was wrong.  Everyone had been so quiet and I just had to break the silence and ask whether something was up with the baby, or at least find out why pushing felt so ineffective.

The doctor assured me that the baby was "right there", and suggested that I could try a different position if things didn't feel right.  Since I was on my back, she suggested I might try getting on my hands and knees.  So I did, just for the sake of trying something different.  I pushed through one contraction in the hands and knees position, and the only difference I felt was more pain.  So I quickly decided to turn back over.

 After I turned back over, I made a quick decision to turn my worry into determination.  I really wanted to meet my little girl, and I figured that if pushing with all my might could help me do that, then I was going to.  I gave it some new energy and, with the next contraction, I pushed until I thought I would turn myself inside out.

Then my water broke with an audible snap and a gush, and I heard a general exclamation from M and the doctor.  I can't remember exactly what was said.

I gave a few more huge pushes, still feeling that "brick wall" sort of feeling and worrying that my pushes weren't doing anything at all.

And then, very suddenly, I felt something shift.  The urge to push returned, and almost immediately I began to feel the baby crowning.  It all happened really quickly, and it was at the same time extremely painful as well as exhilarating.  M told me later that the change I felt was the baby literally turning around inside me, twisting from a sort of sideways position into a face-down position.  He saw it happening, which was pretty crazy.  Baby started the turn herself and then I guess the doctor helped her along a little too.

There was a return to the old familiar feeling of an overwhelming urge to push and the knowledge that the baby was almost out.  I think I gave a little yelp, half of pain and half of excitement.

Where everyone had been really quiet in the room, they were suddenly extremely vocal and encouraging, saying things like, "Yes that's it!  Excellent job!  Here she comes!"

The worst of the pain subsided and the doctor said, "The head's out!" I breathed, cried out in pain again, then quickly pushed, and the doctor said, "and here comes the rest of her!"

And then there she was, with a lusty cry (I don't remember any of our babies crying quite so loudly when they first came out!) and they handed her to me, and I exclaimed, "My girl!" and cried out in joy.  It was 3:59 AM.

Finally, after two long days, she was in my arms.

 

I held her and hugged her and just felt so excited and relieved.  I remember feeling that the chord was still attached and saw the doctor patiently waiting for the placenta to deliver.  The nurse asked if M wanted to cut the chord and he said yes.  They actually did it so that I could see it this time, right on my lap.  So cool!

The doctor gave a small tug on the chord, and I gave a little involuntary push and the placenta was delivered.  The doctor showed it to us... sounds gross but it was pretty cool, I thought, to see the anatomy of the structure that had nourished my baby for so long!

The doctor checked me out and announced that I had no tears and no repair work needed to be done.  Hooray!  I knew that would make recovery so much easier.

The nurse took the baby after a few minutes and did the eye goop and hep B vaccine, and then weighed her...

7 lbs 11 oz!  Not my smallest baby, but not the biggest either.  Just right.  And so beautiful.

M got to hold her for a minute, and then my Mom.  Then they handed her back to me so I could nurse-- she latched on right away and sucked hungrily in big gulps!  She took both sides and nursed for almost an hour.  The nurses were very impressed :)

We then moved into our recovery room and both M and I slept for about two hours, resting in the excitement and relief of this little miraculous blessing.

(We didn't decide on her name until after M and I had both slept.  It took us a while to feel settled on it-- and we were both so tired that we couldn't decide.  It was around 9 or 10 that day that we made the final decision.)