Last Day

Yesterday was the last day of kindergarten, and perhaps the end of an era.

If homeschooling works out, she may never get off the bus like this again.

 

(I had to stop the camera just before the sisterly hug, because of squirmy 2-year-old in my arms.)

She gave a squinty thumbs up, just like she did on her first day, which seems very long ago but also like just yesterday.

She has grown up and learned so much.  She came home with a coupon for 6 ounces of frozen yogurt at a local place, one for each of the 6 A's on her progress report.  That's straight A's, my friends... in a pretty rigorous kindergarten program, if you ask me.

Will I be able to teach her as well next year?

We celebrated by going to the dairy farm for ice cream, and then watching Willy Wonka with Gene Wilder, the "best movie in the world" (her words).

 

I love how the perspective in this shot makes the ice cream look bigger than her head.  It kind of was, actually!

When I saw her teacher as we picked her up on Monday, she said, "I hope we didn't scare you off from public school!"

That was difficult to answer, because her teacher has been so kind and N loves her so much.  She was actually one of the reasons that we felt comfortable with sending N to public school this year.  But no matter how much I assured her teacher that she had done a wonderful job, and that N had learned so much, it still probably felt to her that we were pulling N out of school because she had a horrible experience.

And I hate that the people who have worked so hard to teach her this year might think that we think they've done a bad job.

There were some tough things about this year-- the two ear infections, the three rounds of stomach flu, the being perpetually exhausted, the head lice, the lack of play time and down time after a looooong school day, and the lack of time for other things she loves like crafting and sewing and violin and science and art-- but there were some really good things too.

And so I felt a bit of sadness today, and maybe a touch of wondering about whether we're doing the right thing for her.

I knew when we made the final decision to homeschool that these types of questions would come up... the "what's wrong with public school?" questions from teachers and friends.

And one of the main reasons I was able to come to that final homeschooling decision was that I reached a point where I didn't care what people thought of us anymore.  I just felt so convicted that this was the right thing to do-- it didn't matter to me how much explaining we would have to do.  I got over my fear of marching to a different drum.  I knew the questions would come and I was ready to answer them.

It's not that my conviction wavered today, but... well... the questions are still difficult to answer, despite my readiness.  And it's not always black and white, and I can't always give people convincing reasons, other than, "I feel like this is right."

Which sounds a bit flighty when it's your child's education you're talking about.

But it's all going to be okay.  I'm still really excited.  And I have these moments with my girls:

If you look really hard, you can see the baby bunny they are staring at in the grass.  No, actually, it sort of looks like a clump of dirt.  I guess you had to be there!

And I'm just thrilled that they're going to grow and learn together and support one another, whether or not homeschooling is a complete failure, and wherever our educational journey takes us.

Despite the fact that we said goodbye to some good things today, I think that more really good things are in store for our future.