Five Must-Haves for Baby (and other things you might want, too)

The market for "baby gear" is a huge, multi-million dollar business these days.  It can be overwhelming for the first-time parent to figure out what is really necessary.  A pregnant friend of mine once asked me what I thought were the essential items for bringing home baby.  I thought to myself, well, that would make a good blog post.  And I started writing it-- about a year and a half ago!  That baby is now toddling... but now that I have other friends who are having babies too, I dug this post out of my drafts and thought I'd finish it.  Other friends with babies, comment with your own must-haves-- or link to your own "top five" post!

Okay, so I'm about to be *that* veteran mom who gives you advice whether you want it or not.  Sorry.

Gotta have it:

#1: Diapers

Get a few different sizes.  N was so tiny we had to buy the preemie size for her.  L, on the other hand, outgrew the newborn size and graduated to Size 1 by the time she was about three days old.  (Babies are like a box of chocolates...)  It is a nice thing to have diapers in the house, because getting out in those early days can be difficult-- and you'll be amazed at how quickly you go through diapers!  (If your baby comes early and catches you unprepared, like N did, feel free to steal a package of diapers from the hospital!  Not that I did that, or anything... ahem)  Even if you plan on cloth diapering, it's nice to have a few disposables to give yourself a break in the adjustment period and childbirth recovery time of the first few weeks.

#2: A breast pump (if you plan on nursing)

Get one ahead of time.  Check with your insurance company to see if they cover it... mine did and I got it for free.  A lactation consultant at your local hospital should be able to help you figure this out.  My mistake was not ordering the breast pump until the day after N was born.  It took a week to come after that.  I was so engorged in the early days of milk coming in-- it would have been nice to have that pump around a little sooner.  You have enough pain in your life after giving birth without the pain of engorgement.

#3: Clothes of various sizes

Even the most experienced doctor can have a hard time predicting the size of a baby before it's on the outside.  It's best to have a lot of clothing options on hand.  For N and L, our summer babies, all we needed was lots of onesies.  C, a January baby, lived the first month of her life in blanket sleepers.  Most kids outgrow the newborn size pretty quickly, so it's easy to find these types of clothes second-hand, and typically in very good condition.  We got almost all of our tiny baby clothes cheap or free.

#4: A baby-holding device

It's pretty essential to have something to put your baby in when you're not holding him/her (unless you want to put him/her on the floor).  All three of my children spent the majority of their time as newborns in a bouncy seat like this one-- ours is a very old version that we got for free as a hand-me-down.

You can see in this picture of C at about three weeks old that I've removed the arch with the toys hanging from it.  It's all about the "soothing vibrations" and bouncing/rocking features with a newborn.  A bouncy seat isn't necessary-- you can try a swing or even a car seat.  And different babies will have different preferences about where they spend their awake time, so it's nice if you can get these things second-hand or free so you can try them out and see what your baby prefers.  N screamed every time we put her in the baby swing, but L loved it.

#5: The car seat

If these items weren't in random order, this would be number one.  You probably already know that they won't let you leave the hospital without a properly installed car seat.  And by law, it has to be less than 5 years old, so this is a harder item to find second hand.  You may also need to replace it after you have a few babies.

Okay, so those are the "have to haves".  Let's move on to the "not absolutely essential, but almost" category.

You probably want it:

#1: Some kind of stroller

I found that getting out of the house, even just for a walk, did wonders for my mental state in the first few weeks.  Strollers can also be a big help in navigating public places like the park or the mall-- or just having a shady place to let baby nap while you play outside with an older sibling.  If you can, invest in some kind of travel system that will work for a newborn... like this:

Our first walk with L... she was three days old.  See her car seat snapped in behind N?

We had three strollers, all of which I used a lot-- the "travel system" that you see pictured above (we had a single version of this when N was a baby, and sold it to purchase the double one just before L); the single jogging stroller pictured here (mostly used when N was a baby); and the double jogger.  Our single jogger had the option of snapping in the car seat, so if you only want to purchase only one stroller, that's probably the option that will get you the most mileage.  (Remember that manufacturers recommend you don't put the baby into the actual stroller until he/she is 6 months old-- before that, you have to snap in the car seat.)

#2:  An infant carrier or wrap

These are SO useful.  Not do they keep the fussy newborn calm by close proximity to Mama, but they keep your hands free so that you can hold baby and get some light housework done at the same time.  And if there's an older sibling or two, but you don't want to lug a stroller on your outing, put the baby in the carrier and you're free to hold hands with a big sister or brother.  Again, I recommend that you get a couple of different styles (or borrow from a friend) so that you can test and figure out what suits baby's personality best.  My favorites were the Ergo and the Baby Bjorn for longevity and ease of use, but there are SO many different slings, wraps, and carriers on the market.  Check them all out.

#3: Mylicon

This is infant gas relief medicine.  The store brand is way cheaper and works just as well.  There's controversy over whether the stuff actually does anything, but I swear it helped calm my newborn girls and work out those painful gas bubbles. Gas-free babies make for happy, more rested Mamas.  Have some on hand in the house so you don't have to send your husband out to CVS at 10 PM (oh I totally did that).

#4: A pack and play

Notice that you will not find crib or bassinet anywhere on this list.  That's because they're not necessary, at least not right away.  Most babies won't sleep in a crib until they're a couple of months old, at the earliest.  And of my children, only N would tolerate the bassinet, and she was a miracle baby who would sleep anywhere, on anything, at any time.  Most newborns are not that easy.  L and C both slept in our bed with me for the first few weeks.  After that L actually slept on the floor next to our bed... she was most comfortable there (and big sister was still using the crib at the time).  With C we used the pack and play with the bassinet insert.  Soooo... I say all of that to say that a single pack and play will cover all of your needs from bassinet to crib, and it's the only thing you really need to buy (and something you can very easily find second-hand).  Sure, a cute nursery with decor and a matching crib is fun, but not necessary.

#5: A swaddle

If you have a fussy/high-needs baby who doesn't sleep well, a good swaddle is a great comfort.  You can swaddle in a receiving blanket, but my babies were always able to kick and elbow their way out of a blanket swaddle pretty easily.  If you don't want to be up all night re-doing the blanket swaddle over and over, just get one of these super strong velcro models and your baby will be tightly packed into that secure, burrito-type environment that she loves so very much.  Just like Mommy's womb.

If you want to go the blanket swaddle way, take a few tips from this dad:

(M really loves that commercial.)

You Def Don't Need It/Waste of Money:

#1: A bassinet

There are so many other baby sleeping options (see #4 under "you probably want it").  A bassinet isn't necessary.  We barely used ours (luckily, we got it for free).

#2: Dreft or other "baby" laundry detergent

I had two babies with SUPER sensitive skin, and neither of them seemed to be bothered when I washed their clothes in regular old laundry detergent.  This may not be true for every baby, but it was true for mine.

#3: Wipe Warmer

All newborn babies scream during diaper changes-- even the warmest of wipes will not change that.  The mere fact that you have removed all their warm clothing AND their diaper, in baby's opinion, is a severe crime against humanity, punishable by loud crying (or extremely high-pitched squealing, if you're C).  By the time you even get to the wiping, baby will already be in a state of hysteria.  So don't waste your money on a wipe warmer.  Just become a lightning-fast diaper changer.

#4: Baby Skin Care Products

As I've mentioned before, I've mothered two babies with extremely sensitive skin.  We tried all manner of remedies-- lotions, baby oils, moisturizing soaps-- to clear up dry, itchy skin and eczema.  You know what worked the best?  An oatmeal bath... you know, like your mom used to give you when you had the chicken pox.  Just grind up some oatmeal and put it right in the bath water.  Cheap as anything.  Oh, and don't use ANY soap... maybe a little to wash baby's hair, but then whisk her right out of the bath afterwards so her skin has as little contact with that soap as possible.  The next morning, her skin will be as smooth and moisturized as... well, as a baby's bottom. :)

#5: Sterilizing Equipment or Cleaning Bags

I used to sterilize all of my breast pump parts and bottles when N was new.  I quickly realized it was a waste of time.  You can boil them on the stove in a pot if you're really a germaphobe.  I am not.  Not at all.  Especially after my husband shared this article with me recently.  Anyway, we always just put my pump parts (and bottles, when we used them) in the dishwasher with second and third babies, mostly because we didn't have time to sterilize.  I am not a doctor (read: you probably shouldn't take my advice here!), but two of our babies survived their first year just fine without sterilization.  Just sayin'.

So there you have it!  My two cents (and more)!  Mommies, what were your must-haves?