The Story of Our House, Epilogue

So here are some final thoughts on the home-buying process.

Back when we started our search for housing nearly six months ago, I never dreamed the journey would end in us actually having a house of our own and financing it ourselves.  I say that like it's a good thing-- a "dream come true"-- and it is, in many ways.  But it has taken a lot of hard work, stress, and worry for us to get to that point, as you probably know from reading parts one, two, three and four of The Story of our House.  I don't know if we would have stuck with it to the end of this process, had we not been under a time crunch, and had we not come to the point where this was our only option for housing.

Lots of folks advise you to "get all your ducks in a row" before you have kids.  One of these ducks, some would say, is buying a house-- a sign of "financial stability", right?

Well, we're living proof that the home buying process can be navigated with children in tow.  Three small children, in fact.

However, the reasons why we have been able to do this successfully include:

1) Lots of help from friends and family with child care-- not just for all of the mortgage meetings and house showings and home inspections and eventually the closing, but for the actual move itself.  Keeping the kids entertained on moving day was an entirely different ball game than the last time we moved, when N was just 11 months old.  We had to rely heavily on the help of friends for "kid-wrangling"... plus even though we had pared down and gotten rid of things, there is way more stuff to move with three kids around.  I had a hard time not feeling guilty that day that our friends had to do SO much, that I was tied up with the girls at certain points and couldn't help, and that we pushed the girls to their limits with missing naps and bed times.  Poor M spent a frantic hour setting up the girls' beds in the new house (and didn't get to eat his supper until after it was done) because it was past their bedtime when we finished moving that first night.  Remember how I said I would take pictures on moving day?  Yeah, that didn't happen.  It was an exciting day, to be sure, but lots of work.

2) An extra measure of intentional communication between me and M, and patience with each other.  We ended the summer feeling like it wasn't really a summer, and I feel like I'm still craving some time to just sit on the couch and snuggle with my husband and watch TV... or just, well... talk about something other than buying a house.

3) A firm commitment to working very, very hard and spending all of our free time until this process came to a "close" (literally) on all the endless phone calling, emailing, paperwork, and research we had to do (which in my case, often involved being less-than-present for my children or putting them in front of the TV more than I would have liked).

Despite all of the stress, however, the girls seem to have come through the adjustment and moving process like champs.  In fact, it was like a fun adventure for them-- not at all stressful as it was for Mommy and Daddy!  They got to meet lots of new people (our realtor's little girls were their favorite), talk excitedly about living in a new house, spend lots of fun baby-sitting time with all of their beloved relatives and friends, put all of their belongings in boxes, and watch us load up a UHaul with a pirate ship on it!

The UHaul we rented had this graphic on it... see the pirate?  Well, technically he's a Viking, but N and L called him a pirate.

Sure, Mommy had to ignore them every once in a while, and there was about a 2-week period of bad sleep with everyone adjusting to the new space when we moved in, but that's no skin off the girls' backs, especially when there's such excitement to be had.  L still asks me, every time we're out and about, "When are we going back to the new house?"  It's like a playground for the girls to have so much more space and so many more options for play.

So, I guess I should take a lesson from my children, who I'm sure will look back on the whole moving-to-a-new-house process as one of the most fun experiences of their lives so far.

Which brings me to another thing I need to have a lesson in right now: patience.  Patience with the boxes and the clutter and all the things that aren't quite right about this house that I'd like to remodel.  In a few short years the girls will all be in school and I'll have copious amounts of time on my hands to redecorate and organize to my heart's content.  Right now, as school schedules have started and I've gone back to teaching, if I can just take it one day (and one box) at a time, that's enough.  I try to keep reminding myself that the house just needs to be functional and safe for the kids.  As much as I'd like for it to be aesthetically pleasing, that's a secondary concern.  That's one of the things that appealed to us about this house (other than the fact that we got it for a great price)-- it didn't have a smoking furnace or mold in the basement or anything that would be unsafe for our children.  And that was a rare thing, in our price range.  So I need to be patient, and grateful.  Most of the time I am grateful, and I love living here.  Sometimes it's just hard not to be able to scratch that itch to improve things.

Lastly, I'll just write down a few things about the day we closed on the mortgage (August 31) that I'd like to remember.

We had had a hiccup earlier in the week in the closing process-- I won't go into all of that, but suffice it to say that Wednesday August 29 was one of the most stressful days of my life!

{Yes, we were already living in the house, which was a relief given our time crunch, but we still needed to close by the 31st, because our rate lock was expiring, meaning the awesome low rate that we had locked in on our mortgage would go away after the 31st.  If we didn't close by the time the rate lock expired, we'd have to re-negotiate the rate with the lender, which meant (since rates were going up) our payment would go up.  It would have been okay if that had happened, but obviously not preferable.}

The morning of the 31st, we were waiting for the "clear to close" from our lender, and then after that we had to wait for closing documents to be sent to our attorney.  Auntie Bethie graciously agreed to leave work early so that she could be at our house with the girls from 3 PM on, in case we needed to drop everything and go sign papers at a moment's notice.  She arrived at 3... at that point, we still hadn't heard for sure whether we were going to close that day.  Talk about pins and needles!

At about 3:30, we got the call that we would close at 4:30 at the office of the seller's agent (luckily only about 2 miles away from our house).  I remember the grin on M's face as he answered the phone and heard the news.  All we had to do was stop by the bank and get a certified check for the final deposit.

I'll never forget the moment we walked into the conference room and met the seller of our house for the first time.  She was an older lady, had owned the house for 53 years and lived there for 50 of those years.  Her daughter (the trustee of the estate) was there with her.  As we shook hands with each of them, the relief on their faces was as plain as the relief on ours.  They were passing the burden of caring for this place-- a place they obviously loved-- on to us, and they seemed really pleased with the arrangement.  We felt honored (although a little daunted) to be given the responsibility!

Our attorney was stuck in traffic and late to the closing, but I'm actually glad it happened that way, because it gave us a chance to get to know the sellers.  We heard stories from the daughter of growing up playing in the backyard, and all the crazy things they did, like climbing up the wall to get into the attic.  We heard the story of how her mother worked at Sears downtown for 40 years.  We learned that the mother was musically trained (like myself!), and that she used to sing opera while doing housework.  She admonished us (good-naturedly, of course) to close the windows on the porch when it rained, and to cover up the stove pipe opening in the playroom so the cold air wouldn't get in, and gave us all the receipts that she had saved from 50 years of improvements to the house.

We also learned how pleased the seller was when she heard we wanted to move in a week early, because she was able to cancel her vacancy insurance at that time, which apparently saved her a lot of money.  When we handed her the check for our week's rental, she said "I feel bad taking this!"  We assured her that moving in early had been a life-saver for us and thanked her profusely. 

The seller's agent told us that buyers are almost never allowed to move in early (before closing) to a property, but it really worked out well for both parties in this situation.  When we signed the last papers and shook hands in farewell, there were tears in mother and daughter's eyes-- and mine.  I felt God's hand in our dealings with these people, and that prayers on both sides had been heard and answered.

When we left the office, M put his arm around my waist, pulled me to him and kissed me right there in the parking lot.

There were so many unknowns along the way in this process, and it was a real test of our trust and faith.  I know that things don't always end so happily, but they really did for us... and I'm so thankful!