Lots
I started writing this post a few weeks ago (on November 21) and never published it. However, since it is a pretty good summary of what I'm feeling right now, I thought I'd publish it anyway, and amend it with a few updates at the end.
--Begin November 21 post--
Yes, we've got "lots" going on in our lives right now. We just came off of a very busy weekend. I was looking ahead to the next few weeks, and trying to organize and wrap my head around the steady stream of recitals, final concerts, church services, family gatherings, gifting, and holiday events that will be happening. Oh yeah, and at the end of all that, there's the small task of adding a 5th member to our family that will have to be dealt with. By the way.
I'm sort of resigning myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to do everything I'd like to do to prepare for this baby's arrival. In the midst of a busy season, it's just impossible to complete all items on the checklist (like... oh... choosing a name for this baby?? yikes!!) in time. I'm going to have to do what I can, and be prepared to ask for a lot of help after our new arrival.
I find that, even though I'm busy with lots of other things, my whole being and thought process are really focused on this new baby. I'm having a lot of different feelings. And today I realized, most of them are good feelings. I mean, how can you not be excited about meeting a new child? I can't wait to find out what she will be like-- to see her face, to hold her, to choose a name for her. I'm thrilled for the opportunity to go through the miraculous experience of childbirth again. I'm excited for the girls to meet their new sister and get to know her. I can't wait to teach them about newborn babies and share baby sister's learning process with them as it takes place. I'm excited to nurse another baby and see what kind of a little feeder she'll be. I'm SO looking forward to all the sweet little grunts, soft skin, baby fine hair, warm snuggles, and tiny fingers and toes.
Of course, I'm anticipating the hardships too. I think, however, I've come to the conclusion that most of my worries boil down to the fear of not having enough of myself to give to all three girls. L has been particularly clingy lately. I know this is normal for her age, and even more normal for an 18-month old expecting a new sibling. But I can't as easily see this as a "passing phase" with L-- because she's been fiercely Mama's girl to some degree for her entire life so far. She seems to be pretty adamant about preferring me to all others, and she doesn't hesitate to let everybody know that. I know the adjustment for N will be tough as well... but I really anticipate it being tough for L. I can also remember, in those weepy early weeks when L was a newborn, that I grieved a lot for the loss of the "baby" relationship with N. She was no longer my littlest, and it was the first time that I had to expect her to do "big girl" things-- like being patient for Mama, getting things for herself, and adjusting to not being held as much. I think that was as sad for me as it was for N, at first anyway. So I am anticipating some sadness, on the part of everyone, that L will no longer be "the baby".
However, when I look at L and N now, and I see how much N has grown up and benefitted from having a sibling, I'm excited for that "growing up" to happen for L too. It will be tough, I'm sure, but a necessary process--and eventually good for her. I'm just praying that God will give me the strength and patience to guide her through it, and the wisdom to handle the various situations that will arise. And I'm hoping that one day all three of my girls will giggle, wrestle, hug and kiss as much as L and N do now. I think that's what I'm looking forward to the most.
--End of November 21 post--
So, a couple of things to add...
I'm so grateful to have noticed a decrease in L's clingy behaviors in the past two weeks. She hardly ever puts up a fuss about being held, changed, or put to sleep by Daddy or Grandma or Grandpa or anyone else. Even just a few weeks ago she was "accept no substitutes" as far as having Mommy around for those types of activities. It's not that I'm happy to be able to ignore her, I'm just happy that she's seeming more content with life, and is making transitions into being cared for by others much more smoothly. Yay for L!
It's amazing what having a few days without kids does for your productivity. The girls went down to CT yesterday, and M and I came home to a to-do list that we thought would take us most of the weekend. After one day, we've pretty much done everything on the list. And we even managed to get in a few hours of lazy, slothful (but guilt-free of course) TV watching last night (we are loving Downton Abbey and had a marathon... it was simply marvelous!!) Of course there are endless projects around the house and I'm sure we'll be able to come up with a fresh to-do list in the morning, but for now we're off to a date night! It's wonderful to feel so productive AND rested at the same time... two feelings you rarely have with small children around, and never at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls to bits, and even though it's only been two days I can't look at too many of their pictures around the house without missing them terribly... but I'm also very grateful for this time.
At the same time, I think both M and I are quite ready for baby to come. M has a few days of vacation left before school starts again, and it would be nice for him to enjoy the birth without the pressure to take time off work. As for me, well... if you've never been 39 weeks pregnant... just imagine with me for a second that you have to do everything you normally do all day, except with a 15-pound watermelon strapped to your belly. Now imagine that watermelon is punching you in the stomach regularly, and/or jabbing you in the ribs... with a force that is amazing coming from a watermelon. Add to that crampy contractions once or twice every hour, and having to use the bathroom about every 15 minutes. I really don't like to complain, but... well... you can see how even the world's most patient person would get tired of being pregnant. I really think God designed it this way-- so that you would prefer just about any kind of life adjustment your child will bring to being pregnant any longer than you have to. So yes... I'm ready to have this baby. :-)
The waiting game is on!! I'll certainly keep you all posted.
--Begin November 21 post--
Yes, we've got "lots" going on in our lives right now. We just came off of a very busy weekend. I was looking ahead to the next few weeks, and trying to organize and wrap my head around the steady stream of recitals, final concerts, church services, family gatherings, gifting, and holiday events that will be happening. Oh yeah, and at the end of all that, there's the small task of adding a 5th member to our family that will have to be dealt with. By the way.
I'm sort of resigning myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to do everything I'd like to do to prepare for this baby's arrival. In the midst of a busy season, it's just impossible to complete all items on the checklist (like... oh... choosing a name for this baby?? yikes!!) in time. I'm going to have to do what I can, and be prepared to ask for a lot of help after our new arrival.
I find that, even though I'm busy with lots of other things, my whole being and thought process are really focused on this new baby. I'm having a lot of different feelings. And today I realized, most of them are good feelings. I mean, how can you not be excited about meeting a new child? I can't wait to find out what she will be like-- to see her face, to hold her, to choose a name for her. I'm thrilled for the opportunity to go through the miraculous experience of childbirth again. I'm excited for the girls to meet their new sister and get to know her. I can't wait to teach them about newborn babies and share baby sister's learning process with them as it takes place. I'm excited to nurse another baby and see what kind of a little feeder she'll be. I'm SO looking forward to all the sweet little grunts, soft skin, baby fine hair, warm snuggles, and tiny fingers and toes.
Of course, I'm anticipating the hardships too. I think, however, I've come to the conclusion that most of my worries boil down to the fear of not having enough of myself to give to all three girls. L has been particularly clingy lately. I know this is normal for her age, and even more normal for an 18-month old expecting a new sibling. But I can't as easily see this as a "passing phase" with L-- because she's been fiercely Mama's girl to some degree for her entire life so far. She seems to be pretty adamant about preferring me to all others, and she doesn't hesitate to let everybody know that. I know the adjustment for N will be tough as well... but I really anticipate it being tough for L. I can also remember, in those weepy early weeks when L was a newborn, that I grieved a lot for the loss of the "baby" relationship with N. She was no longer my littlest, and it was the first time that I had to expect her to do "big girl" things-- like being patient for Mama, getting things for herself, and adjusting to not being held as much. I think that was as sad for me as it was for N, at first anyway. So I am anticipating some sadness, on the part of everyone, that L will no longer be "the baby".
However, when I look at L and N now, and I see how much N has grown up and benefitted from having a sibling, I'm excited for that "growing up" to happen for L too. It will be tough, I'm sure, but a necessary process--and eventually good for her. I'm just praying that God will give me the strength and patience to guide her through it, and the wisdom to handle the various situations that will arise. And I'm hoping that one day all three of my girls will giggle, wrestle, hug and kiss as much as L and N do now. I think that's what I'm looking forward to the most.
--End of November 21 post--
So, a couple of things to add...
I'm so grateful to have noticed a decrease in L's clingy behaviors in the past two weeks. She hardly ever puts up a fuss about being held, changed, or put to sleep by Daddy or Grandma or Grandpa or anyone else. Even just a few weeks ago she was "accept no substitutes" as far as having Mommy around for those types of activities. It's not that I'm happy to be able to ignore her, I'm just happy that she's seeming more content with life, and is making transitions into being cared for by others much more smoothly. Yay for L!
It's amazing what having a few days without kids does for your productivity. The girls went down to CT yesterday, and M and I came home to a to-do list that we thought would take us most of the weekend. After one day, we've pretty much done everything on the list. And we even managed to get in a few hours of lazy, slothful (but guilt-free of course) TV watching last night (we are loving Downton Abbey and had a marathon... it was simply marvelous!!) Of course there are endless projects around the house and I'm sure we'll be able to come up with a fresh to-do list in the morning, but for now we're off to a date night! It's wonderful to feel so productive AND rested at the same time... two feelings you rarely have with small children around, and never at the same time. Don't get me wrong, I love my girls to bits, and even though it's only been two days I can't look at too many of their pictures around the house without missing them terribly... but I'm also very grateful for this time.
At the same time, I think both M and I are quite ready for baby to come. M has a few days of vacation left before school starts again, and it would be nice for him to enjoy the birth without the pressure to take time off work. As for me, well... if you've never been 39 weeks pregnant... just imagine with me for a second that you have to do everything you normally do all day, except with a 15-pound watermelon strapped to your belly. Now imagine that watermelon is punching you in the stomach regularly, and/or jabbing you in the ribs... with a force that is amazing coming from a watermelon. Add to that crampy contractions once or twice every hour, and having to use the bathroom about every 15 minutes. I really don't like to complain, but... well... you can see how even the world's most patient person would get tired of being pregnant. I really think God designed it this way-- so that you would prefer just about any kind of life adjustment your child will bring to being pregnant any longer than you have to. So yes... I'm ready to have this baby. :-)
The waiting game is on!! I'll certainly keep you all posted.
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