Quarantine Days 42-49, plus thoughts on school during a pandemic

Hi everyone.

Amidst the photos of our last week of quarantine, I'm going to insert some of my thoughts on school-at-home as it relates to the pandemic (different from homeschooling under normal circumstances, mind you).  I may be sorry that I shared my own opinions later; goodness knows there are enough people spouting opinions, arguing, and laying blame over the internet these days.  In fact, I sometimes wonder if that isn't why more practical work isn't getting done and solutions aren't being found.  The internet and our freedom to wax poetic in whatever way we see fit through this medium can be such a huge time-waster and a distraction from actual real-world pro-active behavior.  But here I go, doing my part to waste some time.  I'll do my best to keep it brief, and if you, like me, are sick of wasting your own time reading people's opinions, I won't be at all offended if you choose to close your browser tab or turn off your phone and tune me out.  But... I'll at least include some cute pictures along the way.

(big sister attends preschool Zoom meeting for which the instruction was to dress as a princess)

There has been much debate and discussion among the local parent groups to which I belong on Facebook, pretty much ever since the pandemic started.  Now that we know that school is officially closed for the rest of the year here in MA (we got the official word last week), the discussion has ramped up quite a bit.  No longer is this just a temporary, month-long hiatus from school, but an extended shutdown, and there are rumblings that it could extend into the fall, or that at the very least school as we know it will be seriously altered come September (with restrictions like smaller class sizes, half days, or other drastic measures to limit the spread of the virus).  Discussions that I have read revolve around the basic concept that most parents feel their children are being under-served.  That can come in the form of parents feeling their children are receiving too many assignments or too little of the instruction required to complete those assignments.  On the other end of the spectrum are the parents of children who finish their required work very quickly, either because they are doing the bare minimum and skating by or leaving things out, or because they are among the more gifted children to which this work comes more easily.

(snuggles with Dad while watching a movie)

Parents are in all kinds of different situations-- some are working from home while trying to manage their own children's schooling.  Some are unemployed.  Some are teachers themselves and answering their own students' questions around the clock.  Because we're all so isolated, we're somewhat lacking in the perspective that might, under normal circumstances, allow us to see the bigger picture beyond our own individual day-to-day stresses.  There are many other complicated factors at play here, such as advice to teachers from the district not to teach new concepts, ever-changing mandates from the state regarding standards to cover before the end of the year, or the cancellation of standardized testing.  Beyond that, there are the problems of equity-- certain children don't even have internet in their homes, let alone the devices necessary to participate in any kind of required online schoolwork, or they have parents who are gone all day working or unavailable to help.  There are the problems for educators of policing participation with the latter in mind, deciding how to give grades and who to pass and who to fail.  Basically, "homeschooling" is a huge, messy undertaking right now, fraught with feelings of stress and compounded by the unprecedented nature of this situation.  And plenty of parents on both sides of the issue are feeling free to let fly on the internet, demanding more for their own children.  And where else would they vent their frustrations right now?  It makes sense, I suppose.

(there has been a lot of movie-making going on!  the latest production is called "The Scar of the Oak" and I have to give props to the costume designers)

As a former homeschooling Mama, my opinion falls on the less stressed end of the spectrum-- I'm pretty confident that a few missed months of school is not going to interrupt our children's learning trajectory by much, if at all... especially since every child in the world, or at least in America, is in the same boat.  I also feel like a lot of parents assume that because kids are in school for 7-8 hours, 100% of that time must be devoted to academic learning, which in reality is far from true.  As a teacher myself I know that there is much time in the public school day devoted to moving from one place to another, tidying the room or packing up, eating, breaks, recess, etc.-- even up to half of the day.  Parents that think that learning-at-home for their children should involve a full school day's worth of actual academic material are being downright ridiculous-- that's one opinion for which I will not apologize!  Part of the problem, I know, is that parents who are working full-time from home right now need a day's worth of activities (or even more, for those working overtime!) to keep their children busy.  I get that-- M and I have certainly struggled with the work-home balance in the past few weeks.  It's no joke.

(My favorite character from the girls' movie-making: Hopki the Hickle)

I was looking back on my own blog posts the other day, and happened upon this one where I talked (in the 5th "take") about homeschooling.  To quote myself:

"'There are still times when things don’t turn out the way we’d hoped. In the end, though, our children are watching and learning from us, especially when the day unfolds in unexpected ways.' (italics mine)  Even if you don't homeschool, children still learn the most from watching Mom and Dad, and seeing how we react when life gives us lemons. And that's one of the most important forms of 'school', isn't it?-- teaching the ability to persevere, and to show kindness and grace while doing so."

This was a really important reminder to me, and I think it's especially relevant right now.  It has been the times during this pandemic when I have been forthright and honest with my kiddos about my own level of anxiety or burnout, and we have problem-solved and discussed together, that I feel their most important times of learning taking place.  When we have real discussions about world events (within the confines of age-appropriateness, of course) and the importance of, say for example, learning about science or biology to help develop a vaccine, it is THEN that they are re-inspired to check that day's assignments from their teachers and complete the "slog" of remote schooling so they can keep their brains sharp and do their part.  It is when we stop and try to interpret feelings of stress vibes from fellow students or teachers, and brainstorm ways in which we might be helpful, that I see them exercising their muscles of kindness and resilience.  THAT to me is what is most important right now.  It's not making sure we tick off all the academic boxes for a certain grade level.  I'm learning too, to be honest about my own needs when necessary during this crazy time, and persevere in kindness and positivity and resilience so that I can model those behaviors for my girls as much as possible.  Goodness knows I don't always succeed.

(Hopki takes a break from filming to draw a picture)

That's probably all I need to say about all of those things.  You get the picture :)

On a somewhat unrelated note, I do miss seeing people, but I have some strange feelings that I could go on staying home for a long, long while.  Maybe it's just years and years and years behind me of being so so so busy, having so many hectic things to fill each day.  Maybe I'm just that burned out.  I'm finding I don't mind much that we have short, manageable to-do lists each day, and plenty of decompression time.  Of course I have a list of things I *could* do-- and this list contains both chores that I wouldn't have time for under normal circumstances (like organize that linen closet), as well as "for fun" things that might make me happy (like learning a new piece on my violin or completing that cross-stitch that has been in my drawer for two years).  I'm sort of finding I lack motivation for things on both sides of the list.  Again, I don't know if that's just that I'm really really really burned out, or if the overwhelming nature of bad news and living through a pandemic has just zapped my energy.  I find myself thankful, however, for the luxury to choose to either do those things, or not.  To just sit with myself and be quiet each day, and ask myself what is going to be best for me at that given moment in time.  Some days, it's just devoting the small amount of energy I have to really being in-tune to helping my girls with their schoolwork-- and nothing else beyond that.  Or just focusing on whatever teaching I have to do that day, lowering my standards for my students' excellence and just meeting them where they're at, suggesting fun sight-reading if they haven't practiced, and otherwise just keeping them afloat in trying times.  Some days, it feels great to sit outside when the sun is warm (a rare thing this spring... the weather has been so gloomy!) and just read chapter after chapter of my book without looking at the clock, while the girls play happily in the yard.

Other days, I don't feel like reading at all.  Some days, therapy baking happens.

Some days, the thought of entering the kitchen brings me dread, and we do takeout for dinner.  I'm trying to just be gentle with myself and go with my own flow.  Maybe that's what I'm enjoying so much.  It has been many, many years since I have had the luxury of time to figure out exactly what I want to do, and then the extra time to actually *do* what I want.  That part of this whole thing has been really freeing.  I feel very lucky.

(that's purple face paint on C... I promise we didn't get *that* sunburned)

And with that, you have all the pictures from our last few days, as well as my thoughts.  You are officially up-to-date.  I hope to be back tomorrow with a workout recap and revised meal plan for the coming week.  I hope that whatever you're doing-- school from home, work from home, time off from work, just staying home-- is bringing you what you need right now, too.  See you soon, friends!

Oh, and May the 4th be with you.  ;-}