Weight Loss and Body Image Thoughts, plus Weekending and Meal Plan

Happy weekend everybody!

L woke up with a fever this morning so I excused myself from my church-school-teaching responsibilities this morning to stay home with her.  Her soccer game was also canceled due to the rain (not that she would have played with a fever, anyway) so here I am with a whole morning and afternoon that I didn't think I would have!  Boy am I glad, too.  I have been just exhausted since about Thursday.  I don't know if I'm fighting whatever L has too, or just burned out, but I'm pretty happy to "listen to my body" and sit here with my laptop while the kids watch some Wiggles and catch up with you all!

I thought I would ramble a bit about weight loss how it has been on my mind lately.  Okay? Okay.

My 2018 New Year's resolution was to lose 10-15 pounds that I had gradually put on over the course of the last year or so.  It began as a desire to be able to keep running with more speed and less pain.  I knew that part of the reason running had felt more uncomfortable for me lately was because I was carting around those extra pounds.

So I hopped back on myfitnesspal.com and reactivated my account.  This website/app had helped me lose baby weight after C, and since simply working out and eating mostly healthy foods as we usually do around here wasn't working for weight loss for me anymore, I decided I needed to keep better track of what I was eating.

It's always eye-opening at first when you start tracking.  Basically I was still eating like I was training for a race and/or nursing a baby, but... I wasn't.  It took me a few weeks of playing with my activity levels and such to figure out how much I needed to eat for steady loss of about a pound per week.  For me that level is about 1400-1600 calories a day, at my age.  Weight doesn't just fly off me like it did when I was 26, people.  I'm OLD!!! lol

Let me tell you, for a girl who likes her food, 1400-1600 calories is not a lot.  And there are several things that make it harder for me.  Number one, I have the responsibility of feeding a family of 6, so I'm constantly in the kitchen preparing food, so there are constant opportunities for me to be sampling things and snacking.  And those samples really start to add up.  I also find it hard not to eat my kids' leftovers because I'm a tightwad and can't stand wasting food.  Number two, I have a husband who is one of those people that can eat A LOT and is still a beanpole.  Sometimes it's hard not to look at what he's eating and a) really want to eat it too or b) mentally calculate the calories, and wonder at why, if I ate the same thing, I would probably gain 50 pounds by the end of the year.

But there's the rub, right?  After almost five months of calorie counting, you just get kind of sick of it.  And jealous of people that can eat.  And maybe a little hangry.  And worried that you have become obsessive compulsive.  So then you skip a couple days of counting (and usually over-indulge a bit), but then you feel guilty and worry that all the weight you have worked so hard to lose will come flying back on in a day.  And actually, for me that sometimes does happen.  If I have a few cheat days in a row I can step on the scale and there might be almost a 5-pound difference from where I was two days ago (I know, water retention, starvation mode, bla bla bla, but you can't help but feel discouraged).

Now, to be fair, I have lost roughly 14 pounds since I started this process, so in reality I've met my goal, and yes, running does feel easier, so yay for that.  Technically, I should be able to allow myself a little more freedom in my diet now, but for some reason there's this desire in the back of my head to just lose 5 more pounds so I'll be back to the lowest weight I was ever at in my adult life.  And that desire sends up a bit of a red flag in my head.  What is the motivation there?  I have met the goal I set for myself, and truth be told, I feel more fit and strong and balanced in my muscle groups then I ever have, after a few months of fitness blender workouts.  My body is obviously different than it was before four pregnancies, and let's face it... I'm just older than I used to be.  But I'm healthy.  I just had my yearly checkup and blood test and my numbers are all amazing.  I don't have to take any medications for anything.  My husband likes the way I look very much.  What reason do I have not to be totally happy with myself?

Do any other women feel this lingering body-image pressure, despite all rational evidence to the contrary?  Does anyone else have trouble being less than perfect?

Well, I have decided I have enough stress in my life without worrying about this.  I also just happened upon this helpful video and listened to this positive podcast this week and I think it was the universe trying to tell me something.  It's time to stop counting calories for a while.  I don't want the pendulum to swing too far, because I know that, being older now, there's a simple truth to the fact that I can't eat the way I did when I was 25 (and frankly, I'm glad my diet includes less casseroles and ice cream and more fruits and vegetables than it did back then, for the sake of my long-term health).  So I would like my focus going forward to shift from accounting for every morsel that goes into my mouth, to attempting to feed my body healthy things, choosing vegetables and fruits as much as I can, and nourishing myself.  And I suppose if I have to gain a few pounds to make that happen, so be it.

Okay, thanks for taking a trip inside my head and letting me ramble.  Let's stop talking about me for a while and look at some photos from our weekend, shall we?

As I said, it has been so relaxing and restful.  Completely needed for this tired Mama.

M took N to her soccer game yesterday morning and I slept in and spent a morning snuggling with the little ones (what a wonderful man he is... heart-eye emojis).

The girls enjoyed SO much outside time since it was almost 70 yesterday!  FINALLY some spring weather!

N made this game of graces at Sturbridge Village homeschool day a few weeks ago and we have had so much fun playing with it!

M and N picked up our grocery order on their way home from the game (we are loving Hannaford To Go lately... I will never go near a grocery store again!) and came bearing treats

I enjoyed this (completely guilt-free of course) while I folded laundry yesterday afternoon.

Then it was pizza night!!!

Here at the Sugar and Spice household we offer vegetarian, vegan, and meatosaurus pizzas, to please every taste and allergy preference.

The vegan option pictured above-- daiya provolone slices, vegan parmesan, garlic and oregano.

Meatosaurus.  Half pepperoni for N and half cheese for L, with garlic and oregano of course.

Didn't get a picture of the veg until it was almost gone.  Hungry Mom and Dad.  Basil pesto, a sprinkle of feta, sweet peppers, red onion, mushrooms, and spinach.

I thoroughly enjoyed a relaxed afternoon in the kitchen making these pies to the sound of my girls' happy shouts from the backyard.  The best day.

Oh and we watched Home for the 12,497th time while eating.  Such a cute movie!!

I hope you all had a great weekend too, whatever you found yourself doing.

Here's our meal plan!

~breakfasts~

leftover grits

cereal

eggs

veggie scramble

waffles with fruit

~lunches~

tuna over greens

smoothies and toast

salads

sandwiches (pbj for kids, turkey, etc.)

~suppers~

homemade pizza

salmon and caesar salad

grass-fed meatballs with chickpea pasta or spaghetti squash

wild rice with feta, raisins, walnuts, & green onions

brinner (breakfast for dinner)

~snacks~

smoothies

fresh fruits and veggies

chips and hummus

cliff bars